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It's not fucking hard.

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For God's sake. Who teaches these fucking children at school?

Showering before the Jacuzzi

I have been spending quite a bit of time at the gym of late, and have observed some less than pleasant traits amongst some of my fellow gym users.

Now I go to a fairly nice gym, not cheap, but I get the best equipment, a great steam/sauna/jacuzzi setup, and there is a lot to look at whilst being there. By that I of course mean it has views of the golf courses.....

It's the jacuzzi where the place falls down. Nothing wrong with the jacuzzi as is, it's huge, very warm, bubbly, everything you would want it to be. My problem is people who get out of the sauna or the steam room, and walk straight into the jacuzzi.

Now, there are signs everywhere asking before you enter the jacuzzi or pool, please shower. Why the fuck would this not be the case if you have just sweat the grime off your balls? Why would I want to share in the moisture that is your underarms?

Am I wrong? I am new to the whole gym thing, but surely that is rank.

I am not even going to mention the blow-drying of the plums in full view of the locker room. That is wrong.

I am back.

As many of the people reading this will know, I am a generally disillusioned chap. Lost in the world we live in, not quite sure where I fit in, what I want to say, to what extent I will go to stand up for my beliefs, you know the kinds of things you'd like to think people think about.

Except they don't do they? Let's take the Average Joe. I have always hated that expression, hoping upon hope that there isn't an average, that we all offer something different, and that no two people can behave the same way under experimental conditions. Sadly my findings offer the contrary. I am often bewildered by the sheer stupidity of people, the arrogance to the point of detriment of some people, and the acceptance of mediocrity, stupidity and general patheticness.

I haven't always gone about my life as a decent person. I have been an absolute cunt to some people, some of whom didn't deserve it, several who did. So I think I am in a position to speak for both sides. I know what it is to have power, to have a hold over someone, and to be able to control people without them knowing. The latter isn't anywhere near as hard as you would hope.

I am a 33 year old man, living in a small "provincial" town. Whoever decided on that espression for anywhere outside of London needs a knock by the way. Even here in my town of fifteen thousand people there are all factions of society. There are people who live in million pound houses, and there are those people who live for the day their benefits get forwarded, and they can spend the afternoon in Lloyds, not the bank you understand, no the upscale version of Wetherspoons, where the characters from the Levelers' song "Hope St" hang out. Don't get me wrong, 5 years ago I loved those places. Breakfast from 8am, then if I could man it we could drink through until 1am the next day. Wow. What a country we live in we all cried.

I now cry that out for quite the opposite reason.

Perhaps I am getting old? Maybe my experiences have changed me? Could this be what happens to everyone at some point?

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a drink. I own more wine than my local pub does. I love a night out with the fellas, when circumstance allows of course. I just don't see the draw of being in a room with sweaty, drunk people rubbing themselves against me.

I am finding it very difficult to find many women/girls who are attractive anymore, and I have figured this to be about the dress code currently. There seems to be only a couple of ways of dressing at the moment, either like you are in a Shangri-La's video from the 70's, like you are in the Breakfast Club, or like a New Orleans street rat. I don't get it.

On things I don't get, why oh why oh why do the media insist on shoving these thick arseholes in my face all the time? People who can't speak properly should be there for entertainment, but not hosting TV shows, not shouting at me patronisingly over the airwaves. I am sick to the back teeth of hearing nonsense being uttered by people I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire, and for all intents and purposes paying for it.

I have left open ends here deliberately, I will come back and address these points over the next month or so. I imagine I will be seeing responses from people, either defending fuckwits, or telling me I need to be more understanding, please if you wish to make a point, do it with dignity, and back your point up. I will argue valid points, I will argue just for the sake of it, but I won't argue with asinine posturing.

That is all.

Look after yourself.